How much can one blame unprotected women?

Content warning: I am writing about abuse and related topics. Discretion is encouraged

Between Harvey Weinstein, Joss Whedon, and many other media figures, there is always a contingent of people who like to blame the women who, more or less voluntarily, agreed to their mistreatment. I find this to be wrong, if understandable.

There are several reasons to blame women for their semi-willing participation. Often, proponents of this erroneous viewpoint will argue that the victims could have just torched their careers, or spoken out sooner. Both of these are factually correct, and certainly a standard that men should be held to. Emphasis on men.

The problem is that women are objectively the weaker sex, in more than just the physical sense, even though the physical sense is part of the problem. Absent specialized martial arts training and/or firearms, the most pathetic gamma weasel can overpower most women. It is highly unfair, but that is how bone density and upper body strength work. While physical violence is seldom part of these stories, it is always in the back of women's minds. Deep down, they understand that pretty much every able-bodied man can overpower them. They have every reason to be afraid of men, especially men with less than entirely noble intentions.

Secondly, predators perfect their craft. They certainly do not run around with 'I want to hurt you in intimate ways'  emblazoned on their T-shirts. What they do is they seek out vulnerable women, make them more vulnerable, and then move in for the atrocity. In a similar vein, women are very easy to manipulate, and consequently to prey on. There is a reason that most consumer advertising is aimed at women: it is much easier to deceive them long enough to make a sale.

It is for these reasons that I find it unfair, and more importantly useless, to blame the women for what they were pressured into. It may be true, but it is about as useful as blaming a deer for getting himself shot in hunting season; they did not stand much of a chance. There is a much more effective target for blame. Where were the fathers, cousins, and brothers of these women? Unprotected women will be targeted, because it is so easy to target them.

For further encouragement, consider the fact that sexual predators are fundamentally cowards. Their physique is also much closer to Ira's than to Chris Hemsworth's, so most men are able to intimidate them. The first time I caused a creep to back down, I was 14 and my sister, the intended mark, was 12. And I just stared at the weasel. He physically backed away from my then skinny teenager frame. It would be funny if one ignored how many women still fall prey to these creeps. I repeat: predators are fundamentally cowards. If you show up, they back down.

If you want to protect women, do not just blame them. Educate and protect them. Much love!