Have an authoritarian personality

In 1950, a bunch of pathetic gamma weasels got together and published a book entitled "The Authoritarian Personality". I have not read this book, since nobody reads a gamma's walls of text if they can avoid it. Lucky for my mental health, the Glorious Defenders of the Good, the Beatiful, and the True over at InfoGalactic have a summary of the book. Allow me to demonstrate why every man should strive to develop an authoritarian personality.

Specifically, Adorno and his pals from the Frankfurt Gamma Hive found nine personality traits that the gamma fails to achieve, hence they demonised them on the 'f-scale', where the 'f' stands for 'fascism'.

The first of these doubleplusungood traits is 'conventionalism'. For all intents and purposes, this means that you do things a certain way because that happens to be the way that they were always done. For instance, when I use the toilet, I flush it, just because that is what my father and his father before him did / continue to do. I do not have any sophisticated opinions on sanitary practices, but I press the flush anyway. I suppose that, to be a good non-authoritarian, I have to be open to the perspective that toilets do not actually have to be flushed. Similarly, women are being awfully conventionalistic by preferring well-groomed, healthy men, as opposed to appreciating the gamma weasel for having all of those Call Of Duty ribbons.

Coming in second, we have 'authoritarian submission', which is when you do something because whoever is in charge said so. If you want to research it, you notice two things. First, you notice that the gammas always talk about the person in charge being a perceived authority ( page 2 of the introduction ). To the gamma, every authority is always perceived, because he's the secret king. The shift manager can't really be in charge, because the gamma is actually the one running the show. Secondly, those with a supernatural outlook will readily observe that one should develop an attitude of 'authoritarian submission' to God the Father of Jesus Christ, and that this extends to any legitimate authority, as all legitimate authority derives from God.

At number three, there is 'authoritarian aggression'. The gammas define this as "a general aggressiveness [...], that is perceived to be sanctioned by the authorities" ( Again, page 2 ). Again, two observations. First, this perfectly describes how normal, well-adjusted men act around gammas. As a matter of fact, women would act the same way around gammas, if they were anywhere near as aggressive as men. Second, notice the words 'general aggressiveness'. They do not restrict this 'aggression' to, ya know, literal violence, or even to yelling for no reason. They mean an attitude towards people. Yes, they are policing attitudes. Can you hope to get more gamma than that?

Additionally, one sees the same snarky use of 'perceived' that was already explored in the 'authoritarian submission' section. Furthermore, the biblically literate recall that there is such a thing as sanctioned agression, such as when Jesus flips some tables in the Temple, or when St. Paul the Apostle strikes down two liars in Acts Five.

One of my personal favourites is the fourth one on the long list of gamma gripes: anti-intellectualism. Per the definition, this describes "hostility and mistrust" towards various castes of the intelligentsia. In practice, it is another instance of the gamma being insufficiently appreciated for being a smart boy, especially when all the hot girls go for the 'dumb jocks' instead him. For the dialectically inclined, his Voxness is living proof that jocks are not necessarily dumb, and that smart guys are not necessarily misshapen little goblins who can't do a single pushup. Additionally, one needs but to read a single Gospel account to realize how anti-intellectual Jesus of Nazareth was towards the Pharisees and Sadducees.

Numero Cinque is something called 'anti-intraception', defined as a 'dislike of subjectivity and imagination'. To the surprise of exactly no-one, the gamma has a problem with this attitude, as he subjectively imagines himself the secret king, and generally operates in a delusion bubble. Anyone sufficiently anti-intraceptive will rapidly poke through this delusion bubble, causing another painful gamma meltdown. The virtuous man, on the other hand, strives to maintain an anti-intraceptive attitude, because the first step to solving a problem is not imagining that it is already solved. Similarly, subjectivity clouds judgment, leading to error.

For number six, we get a quick one: superstition. Rather straightforward really: if the supernatural exists, then the gamma weasel cannot be the Secret King of the Universe, so faith has to be Magic Sky Daddy superstition. Some sources also mention something called 'stereotypy', defining it as a repetitive, or ritualistic, movement or utterance. I suppose that saying 'Thanks be to God' rather often makes me a proto-fascist. Oh well.

Seventhly, the gammas decry "Power and Toughness" as evil. Failing to achieve either in the real world, the gamma demonizes both. As to why you should have these traits: being powerful and tough allows you to protect loved ones a lot more effectively. Additionally, power is necessary for the virtue of mercy, as you can only show mercy to those you have power over. You cannot be merciful to the guy shoving you into a locker, but you can be merciful by not shoving some scrawny gamma weasel into a locker. Similarly, being tough allows you to suffer tribulations for the kingdom. The non-tough would be the rootless seeds in the parable of the sower, for example.

The penultimate traits of the non-gamma are 'destructiveness and cynicism'. The first of these describes the action of doing real damage, 'making the rubble bounce', as it were. The second, contemporary cynicism, describes a 'disbelief in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions'. Again, the gamma has ample reason to hate both. Every time the glorious ban-hammer treatment is administered to a well-deserving gamma, that is an example of destructiveness. Similarly, the eternally dishonest gamma cannot deceive the sufficiently cynical, leading to the destruction of his precious and fragile delusion bubble. When called for, destructiveness is a good thing. Just ask the Rabid Puppies. Similarly, disbelief in the goodness of human motives is more than justified, since our human nature is corrupted by Original Sin.

Last but not least, the gamma complains about 'excessive concerns over sex'. Presumably, telling him to wait for marriage is too much to ask, and makes one a prude. In his defense, who would marry a gamma, given the choice? You see, the gamma wants to be left alone to pursue his perversions in peace, and the slippery slope is definitely a fallacy. Three drag queen story hours later, well, you get the idea. Anyhow, Jesus Christ talks about commiting adultery with one's eyes, if you are looking for an appropriate level of concern.

In conclusion, an authoritarian personality is good for you and your soul. As an added bonus, it allows you to torture gammas simply by existing.